Someone once told me that "You are the combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with". Not only can this be applied to 'who I am' but it can be applied to who I am looking for also. Reazling that this is probably very true, I decided to do some self-reflection.
Someone also once told me that if you want to figure out what qualities you don't want in a man, then you should make up a list of the top 5 things you didn't like about your past boyfriends, find the similarities (there are bound to be some) and create what she called a "black list". If you meet someone that has more than one of these qualities, you probably shouldn't date them and you should tell them to kick rocks. Those things are obviously important and should not be overlooked. Too often to girls (myself included) rationalize away important things. Or think, "hey that's not THAT big of a deal that he doesn't do (fill in blank)" when in reality, it IS a big deal and it shouldn't go over looked. If it makes you upset that he didn't do something (or did something you dont like) then it's obviously something that shouldn't be brushed off. OR we think to ourselves... he might do that in the future. well ladies... chances are, if he hasn't by now he probably won't. AND he's not going to change. No, you can't change him. I've tried. It doesn't work. If you don't love him with all your heart while you're dating and see stars and hearts and bubbles floating when you think about him, how is it going to be when you get MARRIED?! Dating is the best part of the relationship and if you don't like him then, you certainly won't like him anymore with a ring on your finger.
Instead of being a negative nancy and thinking of only the 5 things I don't want in a man, I decided to flip this and think of the 5 things those past boyfriends DID do that I did like and see what similarities I come up with to figure out what I DO want from a man. After all, I can't find a man and be happy with him and I don't know what I want, right?! Right. So let's get started with this little adventure...
Boyfriend #1:
Calls and Texts were very rare- never talked WITH me
I was not in his top priorities of the day/ he didn't want to be committed to me
He changed how he acted around his friends / his friends influenced him TOO much
My family thought he was sketchy
Discouraged me from going out and being with friends or doing anything on my own (jealous!)
Bought me flowers
Took me on dates
Adventurous
Cooked for me
Willing to compromise
Boyfriend #2:
I was not in his top priorities of the day/ he didn't want to be committed to me
Kinda...boring.
Asshole
Family did NOT like him
Immature
Texted me and called me often
Took me on dates
Not jealous
Catholic and went to church with me every Sunday
Boyfriend#3:
Bad temper
Immature and STUBBORN
Talked TO me instead of WITH me
Would not compromise
He changed how he acted around his friends / his friends influenced him TOO much
Really loved me / had a passion for me
Catholic and had great values
Said all the right things to make me think he was perfect
FUN to be around- easy going
Family loved him and I loved his family
Alright.... not gonna lie. that was rough to write. But it was necessary. So, here we go. THIS is what I'm looking for and if you want to reel me in here ya go:
You can forget about that deceptive and shallow approach because I will see right through that nonsense. Instead, key into my intellect. I think that this is the core to my beauty. Not to be selfish but I actually like getting compliements. It makes me feel like you are noticing me. Dont just say "You're HOTT and I wanna SCREW you!" thats not what I'm talking about... I want genuine compliements that are deeper than that. Communication is KEY here. Invovle me in some deep one-on-one conversation. Get to know ME and ask how my day was. Please do not talk about yourself for 3 hours and not allow me to get a single word in. I do want to know about you too, however, let's try and more back and forth approach. When you ask me about how I am, trust me, I love it and I will always remember it. I have a great memory and some say my hippocampus is too active, so just remember that I will remember your actions. Your actions speak louder than your words and what you are doing and how you are acting will not be outplayed when you say, "you have pretty hair" (you gotta do both. I know you can do it ;-] ) Having you help me with the dishes means more to me than you buying me dinner. Romance is extremely important to me. Light some candles, put on some soft music, dance with me in the kitchen, kiss me sweetly, write me a letter, text me you love me (often), buy me flowers, take me to the park to go on a walk, hold my hand, snuggle with me, wake me up with a kiss, tell me all those lines you think are cheesy because let's face it. i'm a fan! I am loyal, so be faithful back. Give me something to be faithful to!I want to live for the adventure. Each day is a new day and I want to be with someone who has an adventure for LIFE and will do things with me and can keep up with me, but yet wants to have kids and a family with me. I want to be the center of your universe and yet know that we can do our own independent activties knowing we will go home to each other at night. 20 years from now, I still want you to romance the hell out of me and I want to know that I'm still the number one priority in life. Love and marriage are not just feelings. It's a decision we make as adults. You CHOOSE to love someone. (the action of loving them, not the feeling of loving them) You choose to buy flowers and write letters. If you know that someone likes that they WHY WOULD YOU NOT DO IT?! Hello!!!!! Do what you know your lover likes, even if it isn't your favorite thing- that's called LOVE. Time after time I've told my boyfriends "hey I like flowers, or cards, or texts in the morning to say have a great day" did they ever do it? nope. WHY!? I'm handing you the opportunity to put a smile on my face and you chose not to do it because you didn't like it or "it's not your thing". It's called a sacrifice and a compromise. Don't be a douche bag. Be honest. Be faithful. Be in love with me. Make compromises. Smile often. Look at the world adventurously.
My "Love Language" is acts of kindness. I will know you love me through you geniune acts of kindness. Go to the end of the earth for me and I will do the same for you. This isn't what I want... It's what I need.
"I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love"
-Bob Dylan
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
If You Don't Know...Now Ya Know..
Recently I've been trying to figure out "who I am" and "what kind of person I am" and "what kind of man I am into" etc etc etc... so here is random stream of consciousness about my likes and dislikes that can maybe begin to breach the surface of me:
My name is Katherine Leigh. I am 22 years old. Born in Brandon, Fl on May 24, 1988. My first kiss was Eric Grooters on New Years at the stroke of Midnight in 8th grade (beat that!!). I love to shop. But I hate shopping for jeans, bras and bathing suits. Anyone who thinks those are fun to shop for, please feel free to tell me your secret. The best way for me to relax is to watch mindless / trashy tv, drink wine (or other adult beves) and laugh with friends. When I'm alone, my favorite thing to do is put music on, take a bubble bath, sing terribly and loudly, and walk around the house naked. I've never had a one night stand and don't really intend on it. My favorite hobby is to go out to dinner with my friends / family (if that can be considered a hobby). I'm extremely romantic. Yes, all that mushy gushy crap works on me. No boyfriend of mine has ever been romantic.. this is part of the reason why I'm single. I love kissing. I've slept in the nude many, many times. My favorite midnight snack is frozen pizza (side note: favorite toppings -- bacon and pepperoni and pineapple in any combination) or waffle house (especially after an epic night of drinking). If I could do it again, I'd change a lot of things from college... especially the amount I partied. I'd do it more. I graduated with a 3.74 from college and could have had a little more fun instead of having my nose in the books all the time. I'd also take the time to get to know more people more personally. No one really gives a crap about other people in college and I wish I had. Girls were so mean to be in college. Ive never had anyone treat me as badly as some of the girls i've met over the past few years. When I eat peanut butter and fluff or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I absolutely must have some cheesy doritos to go with. I will never ever give up fried chicken or macaroni and cheese. ever. My favorite drink is Dr. Pepper. If I never saw / smelled any food that comes from the ocean again I'd be perfectly content. My "ideal" date would be to have a ridiculously romantic something or another. I have been in love with 2 people at the same time. I have also dated someone I didn't love for months and never told them I didn't love them.. Id go to the beach any day over the mountains. Except I hate it when sand gets in my butt. You know that happens to you too! If I had a super power I think I'd want to be able to read peoples minds when I wanted to. Not all the time because that's creepy... but just when it's important to know if someone is really telling you the truth. (ex: did you make out with that girl, yes or no?) TOO many people lie to me and quite frankly, I'm over it. Either tell me the truth and I'll deal with it, or don't be my friend. I've been hurt by a lot of people for no apparent reason. If I could do anything I wanted to do, it would be to meet my perfect man... or just know who that perfect man is in my life-- who knows I could have already met him, right? That'd be sweet. The worst thing a boyfriend / guy ever said to me was that "when he meets the perfect girl, he'll know" meaning... I am not that girl. ouch, right?! I don't like large crowds. Let's face it. I'm short and when I'm in the middle of a large crowd, it gets overwhelming not being able to see anything except people's back and stomachs. I'm a people pleaser and I'll go to the end of the earth for you if you simply tell me that it meant a lot for me to do that for you. Seriously, that's all it takes- gratitude. If I could get plastic surgery I would have my double chin sucked out. It's gross and unattractive and no matter how much weight I lose, I will always have one. I used to play the flute and the oboe and the piano. Now, I can't even read music. The sexiest part of a male body to me is the shoulders and back. mmmm. yep. The sexiest part of a female body is the hour glass figure. My biggest fear is losing someone close to me without telling them how much they mean to me or how much I appreciate everything they have done for me. I have 7 ear piercings and used to have my nose pierced. I want a tattoo of the Christian fish on my foot and have wanted it since I was 16. The best advise I ever got was to live in THIS moment. I'm trying to not be as obsessed with my cell phone as I used to be. It's ok if someone has to wait a few more minutes for me to respond to their text message if I'm busy with someone. I try to pretend like I'm good at cooking when all I really know how to do is follow a recipe and throw shit together that I think might taste good. It usually doesn't. I'm scared about growing up. My biggest pet peeve is when people don't follow through on what they say they will do. I love long names. I sincerely want to name my first daughter Charlotte Elizabeth and call her "Charlie". Not being able to have children really scares me. I don't like dogs, except for a very select few. No, I do not want to see pictures of your dog and no I do not want to pet it or have it lay on me or slober on me. k?thanks. I've always wanted to know a foreign language but do not think I have the mental capacity to learn one. I just dont understand that shit. what are you saying to me?!?! I have the. worlds. best. family. I like costume parties but I dont like walking in to the party. I feel like a douche dressed like that. One day I hope to own my own something. anything of real value. I have a real fear of my house burning down and have had multiple dreams about it happening. I don't have patience for people's children in public. Please keep them under control and no, I'm not meaning for you to keep them on a lease with a bear shaped back-pack to disguise it. My least favorite subject in school was math...no english.. no wait it was science.. i mean history... oh yea.. i hated all subjects in school except home-ec. guess I majored in the right thing? I used to be "super Catholic" but I have fallen away from the church. Not intentionally..I can't really describe why or what happened. It just did. I'm trying to get back into it though. I know my life was more together and better with God in my life / mind regularly so I'm making small steps to get it together. I only have 2 secrets that very few people know about me and I probably won't ever tell anyone else unless prompted. My favorite time of year is all year long. I love the winter because of the clothes, I love fall because of the smell and the leaves and the perfect temperature outside. I love the spring because of the flowers and I love summer because of the nostalgia. On my wedding day, I hope to have my father walk me down the aisle to Pachabel's Canon in D. Also, I'd like to have that really cool version of Some Where Over the Rainbow played at some point. Yes, I like that song.. a lot. When I was little I had an imaginary friend named Zoey. She was the bomb.com. My socks almost always never match and yes, I started that trend not on purpose but out of laziness to find two matching ones. I will listen to almost any kind of music, however, never ever ask me who sings it because I don't know. I dont' know anything about sports and I really don't intend on trying to learn. Also, I dont know anything about politics. I have never voted because I dont know enough about what's going on to make a knowledge based decision and I'm not really one for blindly voting for the sake of voting. I don't have that many girlfriends. Not for the lack of trying, but for some reason, I always just get pushed aside. I'm always the "third wheel" in friendships. So, to try and fix that I'm trying a more one-on-one approach or a large group setting. I really want to be asked out on a real date. and soon! I know I'm still not over my ex boyfriend, but yet I know he's not meant to be with me. Not sure if that's normal. Getting dolled up is still one of my favorite things to do. Being a princess is definitely one of my childhood fantasies. I'm a hypochondriac and I always think I have some sort of illness. I'm self conscious of my body hair. Is that weird? yes. oh well. My favorite color is pink and navy blue. My best summer is tied. One was my two weeks in Costa Rica studying abroad. The other: spending the entire summer at our family's cabin with just my siblings and close family friends doing nothing for weeks. Compromising is one of my biggest relationship needs. If you can't compromise with me on stuff, then...well... we've got some issues. It's called give and take, people! I've give up every dollar I ever make to have a life of pure happiness. I don't like confrontation and getting yelled at makes me cry. every time. Going to the dentist isn't scary when you take care of your teeth. Going to the gynecologist is one of the most humiliating experiences. (guys... please, get over the one touch ball turn and cough... it's nothing comparatively speaking) I think I will really enjoy being pregnant and i'm looking forward to the day when I can celebrate a pregnancy. I love animal print clothes, shoes, and jewelry. The most I've ever won from the lottery was $50 (unlike my brother). Life motto: remember, things can always always get worse. so be grateful for what you have when you have it.
Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should. Let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard. Enjoy moments. Forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything. Have no regrets. Life is too short to be anything but HAPPY.
My name is Katherine Leigh. I am 22 years old. Born in Brandon, Fl on May 24, 1988. My first kiss was Eric Grooters on New Years at the stroke of Midnight in 8th grade (beat that!!). I love to shop. But I hate shopping for jeans, bras and bathing suits. Anyone who thinks those are fun to shop for, please feel free to tell me your secret. The best way for me to relax is to watch mindless / trashy tv, drink wine (or other adult beves) and laugh with friends. When I'm alone, my favorite thing to do is put music on, take a bubble bath, sing terribly and loudly, and walk around the house naked. I've never had a one night stand and don't really intend on it. My favorite hobby is to go out to dinner with my friends / family (if that can be considered a hobby). I'm extremely romantic. Yes, all that mushy gushy crap works on me. No boyfriend of mine has ever been romantic.. this is part of the reason why I'm single. I love kissing. I've slept in the nude many, many times. My favorite midnight snack is frozen pizza (side note: favorite toppings -- bacon and pepperoni and pineapple in any combination) or waffle house (especially after an epic night of drinking). If I could do it again, I'd change a lot of things from college... especially the amount I partied. I'd do it more. I graduated with a 3.74 from college and could have had a little more fun instead of having my nose in the books all the time. I'd also take the time to get to know more people more personally. No one really gives a crap about other people in college and I wish I had. Girls were so mean to be in college. Ive never had anyone treat me as badly as some of the girls i've met over the past few years. When I eat peanut butter and fluff or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I absolutely must have some cheesy doritos to go with. I will never ever give up fried chicken or macaroni and cheese. ever. My favorite drink is Dr. Pepper. If I never saw / smelled any food that comes from the ocean again I'd be perfectly content. My "ideal" date would be to have a ridiculously romantic something or another. I have been in love with 2 people at the same time. I have also dated someone I didn't love for months and never told them I didn't love them.. Id go to the beach any day over the mountains. Except I hate it when sand gets in my butt. You know that happens to you too! If I had a super power I think I'd want to be able to read peoples minds when I wanted to. Not all the time because that's creepy... but just when it's important to know if someone is really telling you the truth. (ex: did you make out with that girl, yes or no?) TOO many people lie to me and quite frankly, I'm over it. Either tell me the truth and I'll deal with it, or don't be my friend. I've been hurt by a lot of people for no apparent reason. If I could do anything I wanted to do, it would be to meet my perfect man... or just know who that perfect man is in my life-- who knows I could have already met him, right? That'd be sweet. The worst thing a boyfriend / guy ever said to me was that "when he meets the perfect girl, he'll know" meaning... I am not that girl. ouch, right?! I don't like large crowds. Let's face it. I'm short and when I'm in the middle of a large crowd, it gets overwhelming not being able to see anything except people's back and stomachs. I'm a people pleaser and I'll go to the end of the earth for you if you simply tell me that it meant a lot for me to do that for you. Seriously, that's all it takes- gratitude. If I could get plastic surgery I would have my double chin sucked out. It's gross and unattractive and no matter how much weight I lose, I will always have one. I used to play the flute and the oboe and the piano. Now, I can't even read music. The sexiest part of a male body to me is the shoulders and back. mmmm. yep. The sexiest part of a female body is the hour glass figure. My biggest fear is losing someone close to me without telling them how much they mean to me or how much I appreciate everything they have done for me. I have 7 ear piercings and used to have my nose pierced. I want a tattoo of the Christian fish on my foot and have wanted it since I was 16. The best advise I ever got was to live in THIS moment. I'm trying to not be as obsessed with my cell phone as I used to be. It's ok if someone has to wait a few more minutes for me to respond to their text message if I'm busy with someone. I try to pretend like I'm good at cooking when all I really know how to do is follow a recipe and throw shit together that I think might taste good. It usually doesn't. I'm scared about growing up. My biggest pet peeve is when people don't follow through on what they say they will do. I love long names. I sincerely want to name my first daughter Charlotte Elizabeth and call her "Charlie". Not being able to have children really scares me. I don't like dogs, except for a very select few. No, I do not want to see pictures of your dog and no I do not want to pet it or have it lay on me or slober on me. k?thanks. I've always wanted to know a foreign language but do not think I have the mental capacity to learn one. I just dont understand that shit. what are you saying to me?!?! I have the. worlds. best. family. I like costume parties but I dont like walking in to the party. I feel like a douche dressed like that. One day I hope to own my own something. anything of real value. I have a real fear of my house burning down and have had multiple dreams about it happening. I don't have patience for people's children in public. Please keep them under control and no, I'm not meaning for you to keep them on a lease with a bear shaped back-pack to disguise it. My least favorite subject in school was math...no english.. no wait it was science.. i mean history... oh yea.. i hated all subjects in school except home-ec. guess I majored in the right thing? I used to be "super Catholic" but I have fallen away from the church. Not intentionally..I can't really describe why or what happened. It just did. I'm trying to get back into it though. I know my life was more together and better with God in my life / mind regularly so I'm making small steps to get it together. I only have 2 secrets that very few people know about me and I probably won't ever tell anyone else unless prompted. My favorite time of year is all year long. I love the winter because of the clothes, I love fall because of the smell and the leaves and the perfect temperature outside. I love the spring because of the flowers and I love summer because of the nostalgia. On my wedding day, I hope to have my father walk me down the aisle to Pachabel's Canon in D. Also, I'd like to have that really cool version of Some Where Over the Rainbow played at some point. Yes, I like that song.. a lot. When I was little I had an imaginary friend named Zoey. She was the bomb.com. My socks almost always never match and yes, I started that trend not on purpose but out of laziness to find two matching ones. I will listen to almost any kind of music, however, never ever ask me who sings it because I don't know. I dont' know anything about sports and I really don't intend on trying to learn. Also, I dont know anything about politics. I have never voted because I dont know enough about what's going on to make a knowledge based decision and I'm not really one for blindly voting for the sake of voting. I don't have that many girlfriends. Not for the lack of trying, but for some reason, I always just get pushed aside. I'm always the "third wheel" in friendships. So, to try and fix that I'm trying a more one-on-one approach or a large group setting. I really want to be asked out on a real date. and soon! I know I'm still not over my ex boyfriend, but yet I know he's not meant to be with me. Not sure if that's normal. Getting dolled up is still one of my favorite things to do. Being a princess is definitely one of my childhood fantasies. I'm a hypochondriac and I always think I have some sort of illness. I'm self conscious of my body hair. Is that weird? yes. oh well. My favorite color is pink and navy blue. My best summer is tied. One was my two weeks in Costa Rica studying abroad. The other: spending the entire summer at our family's cabin with just my siblings and close family friends doing nothing for weeks. Compromising is one of my biggest relationship needs. If you can't compromise with me on stuff, then...well... we've got some issues. It's called give and take, people! I've give up every dollar I ever make to have a life of pure happiness. I don't like confrontation and getting yelled at makes me cry. every time. Going to the dentist isn't scary when you take care of your teeth. Going to the gynecologist is one of the most humiliating experiences. (guys... please, get over the one touch ball turn and cough... it's nothing comparatively speaking) I think I will really enjoy being pregnant and i'm looking forward to the day when I can celebrate a pregnancy. I love animal print clothes, shoes, and jewelry. The most I've ever won from the lottery was $50 (unlike my brother). Life motto: remember, things can always always get worse. so be grateful for what you have when you have it.
Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should. Let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard. Enjoy moments. Forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything. Have no regrets. Life is too short to be anything but HAPPY.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Girls Gotta Do What A Girls Gotta Do...
Each day, I try to strive to complete a small goal that will better myself over all. It could be something as small as chosing to eat a banana instead of doritos and acutally hanging up my towels after I get out of the shower instead of the usual ball they wind up in in the corner of the bathroom. The goal here, is that each of the tiny steps over time will eventually turn into routine which will turn into habits (and good ones at that!)
Over the past week, I have made a number of conscious decisions that I am determined to stick to. So here's the update on how my short term goals (which will ultimately impact my long term goals) are going:
1) My BFFL Marybeth and I have recently realized that we have a Sunday routine... Each Sunday we get together in the evening, go to Roaster's (yes, we order the same thing every week with a slight atltercation to adhere to whatever our hormones and tastebuds are craving), then we go to one of our houses and have the usual swap sesh. We exchange clothes because let's be honest...closets always look more appealing when they aren't your own! Just like refigerators! Then, we paint our nails a new trendy color. Yes. this happens every Sunday and I LOVE it! It also helps me adhere to my first goal of keeping up with my fabulous daily dress code :) Also, I have purchased all new make-up and hair products ($120 later...) because let's be honest... quality hair products and quality make-up make all the difference when looking like a superstar. Don't worry, I put it in the budget!
2) I recently purchased QUICKEN (a budgeter application) for my computer and have come up with a very specific budget to keep my beans under control! Ps. how can they REALLY charge me $50 for a budgeting application......... come on now! I'm on a budget!
3) After much time spent together, Calliebaker and I have become great friends. She's wonderful and I enjoy her company very much, not to mention she makes me almost pee my pants in every other sentence that comes out of her mouth. She also enjoys cooking and comfort foods (especially Mexican Fridays!) just as much as I do. ALSO, she loves animal print accessories (amen). Friendship = BLISS. ALSO, I want to keep meeting people and making new friendships. I have plans to go see Cirque De Soliel with one of my sister's/bro-in-law's friends (Sam!) in two weeks and I'm not only excited about the show but excited about spending time with someone new!! (More to come on that later)
4) I have started reading Captivating. I'm only on page 20 and I already want to tell every guy I've ever dated to 'shove it' where the sun don't shine. I can already tell it's going to be a tear-jerker and a true "self help" book. I think it's the kick-in-the-ass I've been needing to get over myself and expect someone GREAT and not just settle for anyone who thinks I'm pretty...
"Cause I’ve been hidin’
All my life and
I’ve been tryin
To keep me safe but
I’ve been healin
I’ve been thinkin
I am ready
Finally for something more
Than this"
--Keri Nobles
5) My car still isn't clean. nope. not even close.
6) I have decided that I absolutely MUST join a gym. Even if it's the tiny rinkydink gym down the street, I know that if I am paying for a membership, I will be much more motivated to work out. Plus, this gives me the opportunity to workout at night in the dark, whereas my runs /walks are usually outside and now that the time has changed it gets dark at like.....3:30PM. SO, a gym is necessary...and I WILL budget for this so as to help complete my goal of exercising at least 3-5 days a week to train for the Princess Run in Feb AND not to mention help me lose those 10 lbs I'm striving to lose by 12/25/2010.
7) Yesterday (Sunday) I went to Mass by myself. Some of you might think, "...and?" but.. considering I can count the number of times I've gone to Mass on two hands in the past year... I think this is faannnttasssticcc. I think that it is important for me to get myself together and my personal relationship with God back on track before talking to the youth minister about becoming a Core Member. How am I supposed to lead high schoolers in the path of God if I can't even keep myself on that path? So, Mass = Step ONE to doing just that.
8) I have consciously cut back on my sodas. This week... I had 4. Not bad considering I had one each weekday and multiple on the weekend! Getting to 2 a week should be easy after this major cut back. But why do they have to taste soooo good???
So, obvi I have more work to do...but you know...a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do...and this...I've gotta do for no one else...but ME.
Over the past week, I have made a number of conscious decisions that I am determined to stick to. So here's the update on how my short term goals (which will ultimately impact my long term goals) are going:
1) My BFFL Marybeth and I have recently realized that we have a Sunday routine... Each Sunday we get together in the evening, go to Roaster's (yes, we order the same thing every week with a slight atltercation to adhere to whatever our hormones and tastebuds are craving), then we go to one of our houses and have the usual swap sesh. We exchange clothes because let's be honest...closets always look more appealing when they aren't your own! Just like refigerators! Then, we paint our nails a new trendy color. Yes. this happens every Sunday and I LOVE it! It also helps me adhere to my first goal of keeping up with my fabulous daily dress code :) Also, I have purchased all new make-up and hair products ($120 later...) because let's be honest... quality hair products and quality make-up make all the difference when looking like a superstar. Don't worry, I put it in the budget!
2) I recently purchased QUICKEN (a budgeter application) for my computer and have come up with a very specific budget to keep my beans under control! Ps. how can they REALLY charge me $50 for a budgeting application......... come on now! I'm on a budget!
3) After much time spent together, Calliebaker and I have become great friends. She's wonderful and I enjoy her company very much, not to mention she makes me almost pee my pants in every other sentence that comes out of her mouth. She also enjoys cooking and comfort foods (especially Mexican Fridays!) just as much as I do. ALSO, she loves animal print accessories (amen). Friendship = BLISS. ALSO, I want to keep meeting people and making new friendships. I have plans to go see Cirque De Soliel with one of my sister's/bro-in-law's friends (Sam!) in two weeks and I'm not only excited about the show but excited about spending time with someone new!! (More to come on that later)
4) I have started reading Captivating. I'm only on page 20 and I already want to tell every guy I've ever dated to 'shove it' where the sun don't shine. I can already tell it's going to be a tear-jerker and a true "self help" book. I think it's the kick-in-the-ass I've been needing to get over myself and expect someone GREAT and not just settle for anyone who thinks I'm pretty...
"Cause I’ve been hidin’
All my life and
I’ve been tryin
To keep me safe but
I’ve been healin
I’ve been thinkin
I am ready
Finally for something more
Than this"
--Keri Nobles
5) My car still isn't clean. nope. not even close.
6) I have decided that I absolutely MUST join a gym. Even if it's the tiny rinkydink gym down the street, I know that if I am paying for a membership, I will be much more motivated to work out. Plus, this gives me the opportunity to workout at night in the dark, whereas my runs /walks are usually outside and now that the time has changed it gets dark at like.....3:30PM. SO, a gym is necessary...and I WILL budget for this so as to help complete my goal of exercising at least 3-5 days a week to train for the Princess Run in Feb AND not to mention help me lose those 10 lbs I'm striving to lose by 12/25/2010.
7) Yesterday (Sunday) I went to Mass by myself. Some of you might think, "...and?" but.. considering I can count the number of times I've gone to Mass on two hands in the past year... I think this is faannnttasssticcc. I think that it is important for me to get myself together and my personal relationship with God back on track before talking to the youth minister about becoming a Core Member. How am I supposed to lead high schoolers in the path of God if I can't even keep myself on that path? So, Mass = Step ONE to doing just that.
8) I have consciously cut back on my sodas. This week... I had 4. Not bad considering I had one each weekday and multiple on the weekend! Getting to 2 a week should be easy after this major cut back. But why do they have to taste soooo good???
So, obvi I have more work to do...but you know...a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do...and this...I've gotta do for no one else...but ME.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Put On Your Big Girl Panties and DEAL with IT
So, here I am, a fresh Georgia Southern 2010 graduate, thinking I'm hott stuff, then I realize I'm living the unmarried life at home with my parents in Alpharetta with no clue as to how to be an adult in this chaotic world we live in. In desperate attempt to make sense of this life in between college and marriage, this blog (with consto abreeves- yep. get used to it. )is going to be my documentation of my confessions, realizations, goals, feelings (however crazy) and growth of my single, unmarried, and fabulous twenty-something life with my family, friends and you (if you are up for it!) along for the ride. This is my solemn vow to grow as much as possible over the next (insert length of time) and to somehow learn about how to be a sophisticated, Alpharetta grown woman, and more importantly learn about MYSELF. All along this journey I vow to also become healthier, wealthier, and wiser.
Anyone who is older than me knows exactly what I’m going to be talking about and anyone younger than me…well..just get ready for this, it will happen to you one day. Graduating college is one of the hardest / most AWESOME things a person ever has to do. We go from living the life of beer, boys, late night studying, sleeping in late, occasionally going to class, and unlimited pizza and parties with easy access to thousands of people in our age group and same demographics, yet we all take this for granted. That easy- going, care-free lifestyle is something so precious and a true once-in-a-lifetime adventure, we all wish we could stay in that blissful state forever. Some people utilize those resources while ‘living the life’ to their full advantage and are able find their soul-mate and peace out of there with a full-time dream job (I applaud you if that was you). However, not all of us were that lucky. SOME of us graduate with no job, no money, a zillion student loans, no husband, no ring, no boyfriend, a piece of paper that basically says “thumbs up!” and a scared shitless look on our faces. Luckily, I have the world’s greatest parents and they let me move in with them and help me out until I can get myself together (Thanks Tom & Kelly!).
Now, you might be saying, “wow that doesn’t sound so great….”, but let me tell you…. Over the past 6 months that I have been living this in-between-life, I have already begun that transformation into adult-hood (kind of….?). My life is not ‘college!!!!’ anymore. I have bills to pay, I have a mouth to feed, I have a job to go to (THANKFULLY!) for 40 hours a week. Growing up is hard, but there are so many fabulous shoes along the way. I have been enjoying taking on more responsibilities to fend for myself (even though it’s a kick in the butt!!) and let’s be honest, I’m really over the whole ‘going out in public dressed in sweat pants, no make-up, and a sloppy tshirt’ look. Every morning I get up and put on my best outfit for the day and rock it! Wearing high heels just makes me feel important sometimes. Having my nails freshly painted weekly is a necessity to my twenty- something fabulousness. I’m young. I’m ready. I’m confused. I’m single. I’m going to need to lean on my family and friends …a lot. As much chaos and confusion there is in this world, I’m going to try and make sense of it, accomplishing one short-term goal at a time while improving myself little by little. Each goal is set for a specific reason and with the intentional outcome to better myself overall and complete this really difficult puzzle we call LIFE.
Short term goals include:
Keeping up my fabulous daily dress code
Getting on a strict(er) budget
Getting on a strict(er) budget
Make new friends
read a good book
clean my car
start training for the half marathon 3-5 days a week
Get invovled with LifeTeen as a Core member
Cut back on the number of sodas consumed in a week to less than 2
start training for the half marathon 3-5 days a week
Get invovled with LifeTeen as a Core member
Cut back on the number of sodas consumed in a week to less than 2
Long term goals include:
Meet a fabulous man who will treat me like his queen
Get my own apartment
Stick to said budget
Pay off my car
Pay off my student loans
Keep said new friends
FINISH said half marathon (Feb 2011- Disney Princess Run)
Lose 10 lbs by Dec 25, 2010
FINISH said half marathon (Feb 2011- Disney Princess Run)
Lose 10 lbs by Dec 25, 2010
Obvi, I have some work to do on my life. Raise your glass with me as we toast to being fearless, making mistakes, taking chances and growing up! Cheers!
“Being twenty-something is all about taking it in: eating it, drinking it, and spitting out the seeds later. It's about being fearless, and stupid, and dangerous, and unfocused, and abandoned. It's about being in it, not on top of it" --- Jodie Foster, Yale University, 1993
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