Christmas 2010 has come and gone. Oh, how quickly it came and went. The count down began faster than I could even set up my decorations in my cubicle (which are still sitting in a bag, ready to go up that I suppose will go back into storage for another year.. oops). I'd have to say, this one was one for the books. Truly, it's going to be a Christmas to remember. Where do I begin?
Let's start on December 1...
Cirque de Soliel. Need I say more? (read previous blog) Dec 1 was a brief moment/ night in time I will never, ever forget. It was the beginning of something real and wonderful. No words can describe the magic that happened that night. My life will never, ever be the same.
Dec 2: Date with the one and only Mary Beth at our traditional Roaster's! She's my rock. My foundation. Without her, I'd be a H.A.M. (hott ass mess) and she needs to take full credit for keeping my sanity throughout the past 8 years. She listens and cares and gives me the advice I need to hear not matter how harsh honest or how much it might hurt. That's a true sister right there.
Dec 3: Gingerbread party at Sam's house! If you haven't already....
http://twobuerglers.blogspot.com/2010/12/fourth-annual-decorate-ginger-person-in.html
This night also is one for the books! New friends. New food. New beer. New family. and a kiss on the cheek :)
Dec 4: After a 3 mile run with Rosemary and Elizabeth, I went to The SEC Championship watch party with Calliebaker which consisted of the two of us stuffing our faces with queso and getting drunk on wine. I can already tell that she will be a brides maid in my wedding... for multiple reasons.
Dec 5: Lunch date with Sam after going to Mass by myself. The mass by myself tradition has started a whole new journey for me. I'm really liking it. I kind of am enjoying the strange looks I'm getting from people bc usually no one sits by themselves. Mary Beth (again... with all of her life wisdom and wondermousness) said to me..."God doesn't want to be on your to-do list. He want's a relationship with you " and it's time that I do just that. So off I go! Then, lunch date with Sam was casual and wonderful and yes, even throughout my clumsiness from being nervous, he still likes me! Even after I had coleslaw all over my face from the gigantic hot-dog topped with coleslaw and beans. (delish by the way). Then off to Yankee Candle to earn beer money..
Dec 6: Girls wine night at Hannah's!! Dang.. This night made me realize I really do miss that girl. She and I were so so close in high school and I'm not sure what happened. We moved to different cities four years ago and just drifted apart. She's also the same Hannah that got me the job that I have now. (amen to that!!!) She's great! and I have missed her. That night was full of good food, good friends, and great conversation. Every once in awhile, I think it's important for girls to get together, be cute, and gossip and talk GIRLS. This gives us a chance to vent and really express what our true thoughts are. This I think is a necessary part of being a woman. Every girl needs girl time! No boys allowed!
Dec 8: Sam is back in Texas... our phone conversations / text messages have increased and I'm starting to think things are really cooking. He came back from the chinese buffet on this night and decided to FaceTime me (hooray Iphone4!) As I answered the call, he held up two fortune cookies. One for me. One for him. He cracked them open and we shared our fortunes together. I still have mine sitting on my desk, "A rolling stone gathers no moss...but it obtains a certain polish!" we'll see where that connects to my life later I suppose. Sam. You are wondermous. And I look forward to our adventures together :]
Dec 9: Sam's 27th BIRTHDAY! Complete with a ridiculous happy birthday phone call on my lunch break. Wish I could have spent it with him, but sadly, 1024 miles separated us. I hope he enjoyed the day anyway!! This means I gotta make it up to him next year..
Dec 10: Brunch at work. Can we just say....yum?! After work I went to a jewlery party at one of my co-workers house. $92 later I came home with 7 stunning pieces and they are...yep you guessed it! J'ADOURABLE! Including 3 things for Christmas gifts!! Then, I drove straight to Wild Wing to meet up with Sam, Elizabeth, Eric and Sean where we stuffed our faces with wings and goooooood drinks. Then we watched a RIDICULOUS band play old school stuff... like... blink182.. yep. It was out of control and our group by far, was the youngest group in there... by like ..20 years. We danced. We laughed. We took mental pictures of the creepy dude hitting on the cougars while we made fun of the drunk 58 year old women wearing push up bras and jeggings with the mom cut waste. He held my hand for the first time.. This night was life changing. I had a sincere change of heart about someone particular in my life and I think it's going to be an epic change :D
Dec 11: Morning shift at Yankee candle for more beer money turned out to be dreadfully long and then I went straight to my cousin Ashley's 7th birthday party (complete with my putting 14 girls hair up in "rock-star" or "princess" up-do's with GLITTER!!!) AFTER THAT... I sulked for awhile on Sam's couch over going to my company Christmas party and then much to my surprise, we went to Diesel for a pizza date (which turned out to be delish sandwiches and salads). Our first real / deep conversations began here. This was when I started to realize that he wasn't just going to open my door for me once and he actually was different than any other guy I 've ever dated. Hm. LOVE that. THEN... we went to The Fred for Sam's 27th birthday with 8 of his closest friends. Again, good food, good beer, good friends, new family and a brownie a la mode that tasted like burritos. (it's not the first time the server has heard that either... hm.)
Dec 12: Babysit my 3 favorite kids for more beer money after a day of Christmas shopping.
Dec 13: The GYM opened! Zumba on Monday's and Wednesday's is going to be the best. thing. ever! Shake shake shake it up! The days are getting closer to Christmas, my to-do list is getting longer and I still am not done buying Christmas gifts. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!!! and I'm loving every second of it! The smell of pine in the air is intoxicating.
Dec 15: First weigh in!! Rosemary, Elizabeth and I are doing the "biggest loser" between the 3 of us. $20 buy in. winner take all for a new pair of skinny jeans after the half marathon in February! (speaking of... I'm supposed to be up to 5 miles and that aint happening right now... too many christmas cookies!!!!!) And after my failed weigh in, I went to lunch with MB.. told her everything about someone special in my life and she asked me what kind of ring I want... not saying anything else.
Dec 17: Sam is back from Texas! (Finally!) and he came over to Calliebakers to meet her for the first time. Their love grew exponentially when she found out he loves to play golf and she grew up with a golf club attached to her hand. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship :) And I think she approved!!! <3
Dec 18: Somehow, Georgia Southern made it to the semi-finals in the play offs. Our game was at 12 and apparently there is a place that is owned by a GSU alum near the perimeter that all the GSU fans go to to watch the games on Saturdays. Insert the Corsetti's + friends. Twisted Taco was SUPER. The game was outrageous and we played terribly, but it was so so fun to be there surrounded by all my fellow Eagles rooting on our boys. (GOOOOOO BLUE!!! ONE MORE TIME!!!) David and Paige came into town to celebrate Christmas. This was soooo glorious! They are such good siblings to have in my life :] I miss not seeing them on the reg like I used to back in the GSU days! Paige's baby bump is quick the avocado! and shes' looking fabulous! (but who would have thought she's ever look anything less than!) Dinner was so festive and fun! AGAIN: good food, good family, good wine followed by the annual Sibling exchange. (always a great family tradition that I look forward to every year!)
Dec 19: Oh boy. Nannie invited Sam to the infamous Christmas celebration at the Sander's with the entire family including all the cousins and aunts and uncles. Usually we have a sit-down catered dinner. This year... we had a brunch! It was soo nice. It was much more casual (even though itchy tights were involved). We ate, we drank, we exchanged the annual cousin gifts (each cousin draws another cousins name out of a hat and you purchase them a gift to be exchanged at Nannie and Pap's house) Introducing Sam to my family was quite the event. Luckily, he already knew more than half of them (thank goodness they have all bonded over beer on past occasions!!) So, it wasn't as stressful as I thought it was going to be because let's be real... meeting 22 people in someone's famliy all at once is not exactly easy to do no matter how much you like someone. Until ashley looked at him and said "are you her boyfriend?" "...no" "then why are you here??" we confused the 7 year old. hahah! After the cousin gift exchange, we decided to teach Sam how to play our family's card game of choice, Canasta. He. Is. AWESOME at it. To this day and forever until we die we will have an epic battle going. After we left the g-units house, we piled up in the cars and Jackie (college cousin) went to Sam's house to lounge and watch the Falcon's game and play more cards after we went to the YEAH! Burger for the most delish burgers (and hot dogs!) in town. Insert food coma.
Dec 22: 2nd weigh in= fail. ouch. I'm not winning the biggest loser. and my goal to lose 10 lbs by dec 25 was unsuccessful. However, I did lose 3 lbs. Somewhat of a win considering all the cookies and festivities over the past month! FINALLY all my college friends are home for the holiday. Eric, Cat, Sarah, Dan and I met up with Sam Eric and Elizabeth at yet another Taco Mac for some good food and good beer. I have missed my peeps! They mean so much to mean and I always love a great time out with them!!! I can't wait until Eric graduates and moves home. That kid is too great to be so far away from me all the time. I miss him being my roommate (sorry Tom and Kelly...)
Dec 23: NO WORK! YIPPEE!! Instead, Sam, Kelly and I went to Monsignor Reynold's funeral. Our beloved pastor, who changed so many people's lives, pasted away. A Great, great man who will never be forgotten. The funeral was beautiful. 130 priests and that's not counting the clergy on the alter. The Arch Bishop spoke so elegantly. Truly amazing and unforgettable. After the funeral, Sam and I headed to Fresh market to pick out the perfect trifecta of gourmet cheeses to go on our rosemary focaccia bread with the thick-cut bacon. We carefully selected the tomato soup from the shelf and headed home to begin our masterpieces. These sandwiches... were...un...be..lieve...able... I could eat one every day for the rest of my life and be perfectly satisfied. I must say, we make quite the team in the kitchen! After the food coma set in, we began to get 'nasty'. Over the course of the next several hours, our conversation grew and our enjoyment of each other's company was...bliss. The card game continued until his sister's showed up ready to go down to The Fred. Sam, Katie, Terri and I met up with my parents, their parents, and the E's. We ate, we drank, and we were merry! As I'm thinking "I never thought my family would have such a great relationship with someone that I'm dating. It's really kind of ridiculous how well they get along...", my father begins to tell Sam's Vegan-sister how he thinks rabbits make a great marsala (and yes...she has a pet rabbit) *insert foot into mouth, father. PLEASE* After rolling him away from the table, he still didn't get the picture. Check, please! Hopefully, nothing too detrimental happened and any damage that was done can be fixed on New Years when my family goes to their house for festivities (bottle of Patron in hand). After everyone left back to their respected houses, Sam and I continued our final card game. Somehow, before we left for The Fred, we tied! That was absolutely unacceptable! We finished. I won. Obvi.. Then......... yep. and it was soo sweet! I literally couldn't get enough...
Dec 24: NO WORK AGAIN!! The annual Christmas festivities had begun. However, there was a sense of relaxation upon the day instead of chaos and stress. Every year on Christmas Eve, the family gathers at my parents house and I have an appetizer dinner (all dressed of course!) and desserts and then we go to Christmas Eve Mass. The day will filled with nothing and relaxation and a few dishes to prepare. It was wonderful! I had only 1 more present to purchase and the Honey Baked Ham to purchase for Christmas night dinner. After getting fully dressed, my friend calls me with terrible news just as my family begins to arrive. Such tragedies should never be experienced in a life time and especially not on Christmas eve. After my proper condolences and a brief sob fest, I fixed my make up and returned to the party and celebration trying to get this off my mind. Dinner was delish! And yes, more christmas cookies were consumed for my waste line. Then, we bundled up and headed to mass. Mass was beautiful as always. It's by far my favorite all year long. This year was the first year we went to 9:00 instead of midnight. I was fine with it considering I had no other choice and I was already really relaxed from the multiple glasses of wine. A deep sleep came after our nightly 8th grade style phone conversation and canasta game online... mmm.. totally crushing!
Dec 25: CHRISTMAS MORNING!!!! The tree had presents exploding out from under it with ridiculous name tags (as always!!) After our mimosas and gigantic spread of french toast, bacon, grits, etc etc, we dove into the gifts. Sander-clause came as always and we got to share in the joy of the day with them. I somehow only received gifts that I could wear and I'm soo ok with that! My favorite part of every year is watching everyone open the carefully selected and wrapped gifts. It's so fun!! Their faces light up with excitement and joy that you thought of them for that gift. This was the first year in something like 128 years that Georgia had a white Christmas! It was AWESOME!!!! I loved every second of the snow falling and am still enjoying it! Around 4 when we were still in our jammies, mom and I busted out our annual christmas puzzle. We do a puzzle together every year on Christmas and i love the tradition! We play good christmas music and sit around and play with all our new toys and work on the puzzle :) We finally finished today!
Dec 26: After a day of spending my christmas money on sales and great values, I went home to relax and enjoy my final day off work. Sam came over and somehow gave me a cost-co size ass whopping in canasta ( I think i've created a monster... Can't wait for him to be my partner in the next doubles game!!) Nannie and pap came over to celebrate Alex's 24th birthday. We ate his usual... serf and turf... so vegetarian mom ate mac and cheese and broccoli. haha! He's 100% excited about going to the Falcon's game tomorrow with his new grill, beer pong table, and Falcon's tailgate tent! SCHWEET!
I have started some new traditions of my own and nightly rituals (which include reading a daily devotional from a book called Jesus Calling. It seems that if I just put my mind to it, I can be healthy, wealthy, and have the best time of my life. I can be ME. It's ok if someone doesn't like me for being me. That's their problem... because I'm going to be awesome at life and if you don't like it then deal. My twenties have to be something for the books. I gotta make every moment count. If I dont, my life will slip by me and I won't know what hit me. Life is about choices. Sometimes we have to make the wrong ones to realize what the right ones are and how great the right ones are. I'm glad to have experienced the bad decisions so I know exactly how wonderful my life can be. Live in THIS moment. The day I moved home from GSU my fortune cookies said, "You will make a change for the better" and I really think I did...
And so the Christmas count down comes to an end on this snowy night. The air outside is frigid. The lights are twinkling. Our bellies are filled with too much food and wine. The mistletoe is hanging in our doorways. Our hearts are filled with joy. Our heads are filled with memories that will last a life time. And so another Christmas season has come and gone. I am so, so grateful for each and every person in my life. I would not be the person I am today had I not had them in my life. God has blessed me with more than I know what to do with. My life is filled with the most wonderful people and the most wonderful events. I truly am the luckiest girl in the whole world and I can never say thank you enough!
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
-- Oprah Winfrey
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Big Girl Panties... CHECK
After much deliberation, Ive decided I need to check in and see how my list of goals from a while back are going
1) Dress code is going extremely well. Mary Beth and I have almost already exchanged everything (literally) possible in our closets. I've only repeated two outfits at work and I've been working there since September (.......awesome, right?!) So I'd say that deems a pretty fabulous dress code :) It also may or may not have something to do with the fact that I've gotten 5 new incredible pairs of heals in the past 3 weeks...............
2) My budget has gotten tighter and I have been listening to Dave Ramsey CDS (Thanks Tom!) I'm on 3 out of 13. I hope to finish all 13 by February. They are each over an hour long and let's be real....that's a long time to listen to someone talk about money. I decided that each month I have to have a decision on WHERE my money goes BEFORE the check comes. This will help me keep my money in check and keep myself locked up so I don't go buck wild over a sale at Target ((you all know you can't leave there without spending at least $45)). That being the case, after all the bills are paid and I have all my other items negotiated, all the left over money just has to go somewhere...like... SAVINGS!!! or.. paying off my loans and my car. Once I get my car and student loan paid off, then I can move to my own apt :) although... living at home is pretty rocking right now if I do say so. Only 10 more car payments. BOOM.
3) Callie Baker + KTC = besties with out testies : ] Per usual, we make delish meals on the reg, have a mexi-day once a week and chick fil a fridays. A girl who loves food and cooking and family and kids and wine as much as me?!!?!! match made in heaven. ALSO. Samfriend is w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l. (see: Cirque de Soliel, Ginger bread party, and many many other majestic evenings---more to come)
4) I have 20 pages left in Captivating!!!! (Stay posted ... more to come on that after I finish the book) Let's just say... it's life changing. and I'm more like studying it than just reading it for leisure. I'm not going to settle for anyone. I'm trying to heal from my past heart aches, move on with my life and get to a place where I can be 100% happy with my future husand. I'm ready.
5) My car is CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!! Inside AND out!!!!!!!!!!!! VICTORY!
6) The gym I joined opened this past Monday. THANKFULLY! Kelly and I have been going every night this week (except for the night of Ice Storm 2010 due to the roads being a disaster). The gym is really really great! It comes complete with all the cardio machines, weights, free weights, cinema room showing ridiculously great movies like Mr. & Mrs. Smith, sauna, and unlimited classes *zumba, pilates, yoga, step, spin etc etc etc* I'm loving it so far! So the 3-5 days of training = ON SCHEDULE!
Operation Skinny Jeans = me gaining 3 lbs last week? ouch. No I am not going to lose 10 lbs by next Saturday.... #fail.This Sunday, the girls are rallying up for a 4 mile run, however... my love for mexidays is hindering my ability to lose those lbs...oops. please tell me to lock it up. kthanksbye.
7) I haven't missed a week of mass since I made the commitment to get myself back into it. I'm not quite at the point to where I can join Life Teen as a Core member yet, but DEF in the right direction! For some reason, I've felt called to go to Confession. Like..seriously called. I haven't been in over 3 years. It's time. For sure. Also, I've felt a sincere urge to go to Adoration. I plan to go next week. Game. ON
8) Sodas = 1 this week. CHECK!
"The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances." --Martha Washington
For some reason or another (some may already have a hint as to why this is...) but, I have never been more happy in my entire life. I can do what ever I want. I have no fear to say whatever I want. I have a GREAT job, GREAT friends, and THE BEST family!!!!
“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” – Mark Victor Hansen
1) Dress code is going extremely well. Mary Beth and I have almost already exchanged everything (literally) possible in our closets. I've only repeated two outfits at work and I've been working there since September (.......awesome, right?!) So I'd say that deems a pretty fabulous dress code :) It also may or may not have something to do with the fact that I've gotten 5 new incredible pairs of heals in the past 3 weeks...............
2) My budget has gotten tighter and I have been listening to Dave Ramsey CDS (Thanks Tom!) I'm on 3 out of 13. I hope to finish all 13 by February. They are each over an hour long and let's be real....that's a long time to listen to someone talk about money. I decided that each month I have to have a decision on WHERE my money goes BEFORE the check comes. This will help me keep my money in check and keep myself locked up so I don't go buck wild over a sale at Target ((you all know you can't leave there without spending at least $45)). That being the case, after all the bills are paid and I have all my other items negotiated, all the left over money just has to go somewhere...like... SAVINGS!!! or.. paying off my loans and my car. Once I get my car and student loan paid off, then I can move to my own apt :) although... living at home is pretty rocking right now if I do say so. Only 10 more car payments. BOOM.
3) Callie Baker + KTC = besties with out testies : ] Per usual, we make delish meals on the reg, have a mexi-day once a week and chick fil a fridays. A girl who loves food and cooking and family and kids and wine as much as me?!!?!! match made in heaven. ALSO. Samfriend is w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l. (see: Cirque de Soliel, Ginger bread party, and many many other majestic evenings---more to come)
4) I have 20 pages left in Captivating!!!! (Stay posted ... more to come on that after I finish the book) Let's just say... it's life changing. and I'm more like studying it than just reading it for leisure. I'm not going to settle for anyone. I'm trying to heal from my past heart aches, move on with my life and get to a place where I can be 100% happy with my future husand. I'm ready.
5) My car is CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!! Inside AND out!!!!!!!!!!!! VICTORY!
6) The gym I joined opened this past Monday. THANKFULLY! Kelly and I have been going every night this week (except for the night of Ice Storm 2010 due to the roads being a disaster). The gym is really really great! It comes complete with all the cardio machines, weights, free weights, cinema room showing ridiculously great movies like Mr. & Mrs. Smith, sauna, and unlimited classes *zumba, pilates, yoga, step, spin etc etc etc* I'm loving it so far! So the 3-5 days of training = ON SCHEDULE!
Operation Skinny Jeans = me gaining 3 lbs last week? ouch. No I am not going to lose 10 lbs by next Saturday.... #fail.This Sunday, the girls are rallying up for a 4 mile run, however... my love for mexidays is hindering my ability to lose those lbs...oops. please tell me to lock it up. kthanksbye.
7) I haven't missed a week of mass since I made the commitment to get myself back into it. I'm not quite at the point to where I can join Life Teen as a Core member yet, but DEF in the right direction! For some reason, I've felt called to go to Confession. Like..seriously called. I haven't been in over 3 years. It's time. For sure. Also, I've felt a sincere urge to go to Adoration. I plan to go next week. Game. ON
8) Sodas = 1 this week. CHECK!
"The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances." --Martha Washington
For some reason or another (some may already have a hint as to why this is...) but, I have never been more happy in my entire life. I can do what ever I want. I have no fear to say whatever I want. I have a GREAT job, GREAT friends, and THE BEST family!!!!
“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” – Mark Victor Hansen
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Lovely
I don't wanna be hurt
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what give you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right
Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am
I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing
I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am
I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me
I'm I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me
Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am
Oh yes I am,
Yes I am lovely
The way that I am
I am lovely lovely
I am lovely
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what give you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right
Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am
I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing
I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am
I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me
I'm I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me
Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am
Oh yes I am,
Yes I am lovely
The way that I am
I am lovely lovely
I am lovely
Monday, December 13, 2010
Just The Way You Are...
"Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying She's so beautiful, and I tell her everyday Yea, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me And it's so, it's so sad to think that she don't see what I see But every time she asks me, do I look okay, I say
When I see your face, there is not a thing that I would change Cause you're amazing, just the way you are And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are, hey
Her lips, her lips I could kiss them all day if she'd let me Her laugh, her laugh she hates but I think it's so sexy She's so beautiful, and I tell her everyday Oh, you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same So don't even bother asking if you look okay, you know I'll say
When I see your face, there is not a thing that I would change Cause you're amazing, just the way you are And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are When I see your face there's not a thing I would change Cause you're amazing just the way you are And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are, yea "--- Bruno Mars
When I see your face, there is not a thing that I would change Cause you're amazing, just the way you are And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are, hey
Her lips, her lips I could kiss them all day if she'd let me Her laugh, her laugh she hates but I think it's so sexy She's so beautiful, and I tell her everyday Oh, you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same So don't even bother asking if you look okay, you know I'll say
When I see your face, there is not a thing that I would change Cause you're amazing, just the way you are And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are When I see your face there's not a thing I would change Cause you're amazing just the way you are And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are, yea "--- Bruno Mars
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
121 out of 242
Since I'm at the half-way point in my book Captivating I thought this would be a good spot to stop and think and reflect on what I've gotten out of it so far.
In the beginning chapters of the book, I have already connected with many, many different thoughts. As I was going through I kept thinking, "how does she know this about ME?!" and "she must have written this FOR ME!!!" seriously...that dead-on correct. The heart of a woman is something special to be cherished, but instead, we find ourselves having, "An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, too strong, too opinionated and too messy. The result: Shame". I long to just...be. To be ok with being me. I am who I am. and no man will ever change that... (again)..."Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story". I always wanted to be rescued like in Cinderella and Ariel. I always wanted a man to fight a battle for me. I found myself trying to change every man i've ever dated into being this hero and only came out disapointed when I realized he wasn't and he made me feel like crap for wanting more than what he gave me. "A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draw out her beauty." I suppose part of this is letting that happen. I always try and make the fairy tale happen. I try to control every part of my (love) life so that I prevent myself from getting hurt (again) when I think I just need to let it go, let things happen, and enjoy the ride while still graurding my heart for the ONE. I want to be pursued. He's out there. Hopefully, he's fighting for me already. Not going to lie... I pray for my future husband. You should pray for your future spouse too. It feels good.
As women, we define ourselves by the relationships in our lives. When someone asks you "who are you" you could respond with something like "I am a daughter" or "I am a sister" while men usually define themselves as things such as "I am a salesman" or "I am a baseball player" just like Stasi says, "Most women define themselves in terms of their relationships and the quality they deem those relationships to have." This is a glory of God. We all have beauty to unveil. Beauty is Essential! Beauty speaks. Beauty is powerful, Beauty invites, Beauty nourishes, Beauty comforts, Beauty inspires, Beauty is transcendent. Beauty is misunderstood by all, "this is crucial to any woman's soul, not to mention her sexuality: You cannot simply have me. You must seek me, pursue me. I won't let you in unless I know you love me". In the past, I have given myself too quickly, both emotionally and other. This usually leads me down a bad path heading for destruction. The man gets bored and I'm the problem of the relatioinship. I am too much and still not enough. Yet, somehow, deep down, I know it's not my fault. If he just understood that I wanted to be persued still then we wouldn't have a problem (I guess this is one of the many reasons why we are no longer together...) "a woman is not a problem to be solved, but a vast wonder to be enjoyed" I have learned that my deepest worries and fears are relational.... they are connected with someone, not something. Also, I have learned why I behaved the way I did in my past relationships. I learmed that when a woman's emotional needs are not met, and she has fallen from grace with God, she becomes a dominating, controlling woman OR a desolate, needy, mousy woman, or some odd combination of both. Wow. eyes = opened. I did this because I wanted to be in control because I feared vulnerability, yet at the same time I felt so needy that I let myself fall under the abuse of a bad man and didn't have the will to get myself out. I gave my heart away instead of giving it to God because the deep longing in my heart just won't go away...so I indulged. "We are wounded into believing horrid things about ourselves. And so every woman comes into the world set up for a terrible heartbreak."
Also, I learned a bunch about how men work and some about why they are the way they are. Men have fears of their own (who knew!?!) and they are much, much different than those of women. "But the truth is, he is afraid. He fears that having delved into his woman's world he wont have what it takes to help her there. That is his sin. That is his cowardice. And because of her shame, most of the time a man gets away with it... The effect is that most women feel alone.... Men sin through violence and through passivity." Oh how true this is.... I really cant even expand on it. It just...hits home all to much. I think the worst part about it is when your realize you dated a man who displayed both violence and passivity and let yourself take it because of your own shame because let's be real... a woman's worst fear is abandonment. So after getting angry...after crying about all the realizations about my own life...after the special hatred for myself for letting myself be treated like that... and having a special hatred to those that hurt me for all too long it was time. Time to forgive. "And so dear heart, it is time for your restoration." It's time to let it all go and turn everything over to God. God is the only one who can heal my wounded heart and my wounded soul. It's time to forgive those who have hurt me more deeply than anyone else on the earth. It's time to let it all go to God...and move on. Cry it out...forgive...and be done. "Bitterness and unforgiveness set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that hold us captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds. Until you fortive, you remain their prisoner... We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to those who hurt us." I want to let it all go to God. Now, it's time to let myself be free of those chains and to let myself be with someone who will really treat me like the Beauty that I am.
I want to be Captivating.
In the beginning chapters of the book, I have already connected with many, many different thoughts. As I was going through I kept thinking, "how does she know this about ME?!" and "she must have written this FOR ME!!!" seriously...that dead-on correct. The heart of a woman is something special to be cherished, but instead, we find ourselves having, "An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, too strong, too opinionated and too messy. The result: Shame". I long to just...be. To be ok with being me. I am who I am. and no man will ever change that... (again)..."Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story". I always wanted to be rescued like in Cinderella and Ariel. I always wanted a man to fight a battle for me. I found myself trying to change every man i've ever dated into being this hero and only came out disapointed when I realized he wasn't and he made me feel like crap for wanting more than what he gave me. "A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draw out her beauty." I suppose part of this is letting that happen. I always try and make the fairy tale happen. I try to control every part of my (love) life so that I prevent myself from getting hurt (again) when I think I just need to let it go, let things happen, and enjoy the ride while still graurding my heart for the ONE. I want to be pursued. He's out there. Hopefully, he's fighting for me already. Not going to lie... I pray for my future husband. You should pray for your future spouse too. It feels good.
As women, we define ourselves by the relationships in our lives. When someone asks you "who are you" you could respond with something like "I am a daughter" or "I am a sister" while men usually define themselves as things such as "I am a salesman" or "I am a baseball player" just like Stasi says, "Most women define themselves in terms of their relationships and the quality they deem those relationships to have." This is a glory of God. We all have beauty to unveil. Beauty is Essential! Beauty speaks. Beauty is powerful, Beauty invites, Beauty nourishes, Beauty comforts, Beauty inspires, Beauty is transcendent. Beauty is misunderstood by all, "this is crucial to any woman's soul, not to mention her sexuality: You cannot simply have me. You must seek me, pursue me. I won't let you in unless I know you love me". In the past, I have given myself too quickly, both emotionally and other. This usually leads me down a bad path heading for destruction. The man gets bored and I'm the problem of the relatioinship. I am too much and still not enough. Yet, somehow, deep down, I know it's not my fault. If he just understood that I wanted to be persued still then we wouldn't have a problem (I guess this is one of the many reasons why we are no longer together...) "a woman is not a problem to be solved, but a vast wonder to be enjoyed" I have learned that my deepest worries and fears are relational.... they are connected with someone, not something. Also, I have learned why I behaved the way I did in my past relationships. I learmed that when a woman's emotional needs are not met, and she has fallen from grace with God, she becomes a dominating, controlling woman OR a desolate, needy, mousy woman, or some odd combination of both. Wow. eyes = opened. I did this because I wanted to be in control because I feared vulnerability, yet at the same time I felt so needy that I let myself fall under the abuse of a bad man and didn't have the will to get myself out. I gave my heart away instead of giving it to God because the deep longing in my heart just won't go away...so I indulged. "We are wounded into believing horrid things about ourselves. And so every woman comes into the world set up for a terrible heartbreak."
Also, I learned a bunch about how men work and some about why they are the way they are. Men have fears of their own (who knew!?!) and they are much, much different than those of women. "But the truth is, he is afraid. He fears that having delved into his woman's world he wont have what it takes to help her there. That is his sin. That is his cowardice. And because of her shame, most of the time a man gets away with it... The effect is that most women feel alone.... Men sin through violence and through passivity." Oh how true this is.... I really cant even expand on it. It just...hits home all to much. I think the worst part about it is when your realize you dated a man who displayed both violence and passivity and let yourself take it because of your own shame because let's be real... a woman's worst fear is abandonment. So after getting angry...after crying about all the realizations about my own life...after the special hatred for myself for letting myself be treated like that... and having a special hatred to those that hurt me for all too long it was time. Time to forgive. "And so dear heart, it is time for your restoration." It's time to let it all go and turn everything over to God. God is the only one who can heal my wounded heart and my wounded soul. It's time to forgive those who have hurt me more deeply than anyone else on the earth. It's time to let it all go to God...and move on. Cry it out...forgive...and be done. "Bitterness and unforgiveness set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that hold us captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds. Until you fortive, you remain their prisoner... We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to those who hurt us." I want to let it all go to God. Now, it's time to let myself be free of those chains and to let myself be with someone who will really treat me like the Beauty that I am.
I want to be Captivating.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Cirque De Soleil: a Majestic evening
So there we were... At Fred's. ...On a cool November night... When he asks me..."Want to go see Cirque De Soliel with me sometime?" My immediate response consisted of a gigantic smile and probably even a jump in step and a, "ABSOLUTELY!" He bought the tickets for us to go on Dec 1, 8:00 p.m. As the days grew closwer and closer, I could feel the excitement rising causing the anticipation of what the show was going to be like was getting to breach the brim and almost overflow. Then, finally, the day arrived. He picked me up at 5:00 sharp and we inched our way downtown (thanks ATL for having millions of people on the road!...literally...) Since my favorite food is fried chicken and mac and cheese OF COURSE he made reservations at JCT Kitchen (known for their fried chicken and bacon mac and cheese). Let me just tell you. The dish melted in my mouth. I haven't had such an award-worthy meal in a long, long time. Everything about the dinner was fantastic. The drinks we sipped were loaded with combinations of flavors that left your mouth refreshed and satisfied. Not to mention I was one happy camper to be eating my fav meal of all time! After the delish meal, it was TIME. We headed over to the gigantic tent down-town, only to stop for a quick second to take in the breath-taking view of Atlanta (well- done Atlanta...well-done). As we entered the tent, we didn't know what to expect. Our seats were 13ish rows back from the round stage. SWEET, right?! For those of you who don't know, the theme of the show was OVO. All the mystical insects were fascinated with this gigantic egg. Each of the acts were completely different. The colors were popping from the dark stage. There reall wasn't a single "favorite" act that we could choose. During the different acts, I found myself getting lost in the pure talent of the performers. I have never in my entire life seen anything like that before. It was beyond my expectations!! The acts flowed so perfectly between one another. There wasn't a moment without something going on on stage for the audience to be captivated by. It was a true work of art that I'm sure took years to prepare. And no...they did not mess up..not even once. After the show concluded and they received a much desereved standing ovation, all I could think was...majestic. The whole evening was just perfect and majestic. I couldn't say thank you enough to the man who made it all possible! Don't worry... I'll spare you the details about how we got pulled over by the cops on our way home...
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
It's not what you want, it's what you NEED
Someone once told me that "You are the combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with". Not only can this be applied to 'who I am' but it can be applied to who I am looking for also. Reazling that this is probably very true, I decided to do some self-reflection.
Someone also once told me that if you want to figure out what qualities you don't want in a man, then you should make up a list of the top 5 things you didn't like about your past boyfriends, find the similarities (there are bound to be some) and create what she called a "black list". If you meet someone that has more than one of these qualities, you probably shouldn't date them and you should tell them to kick rocks. Those things are obviously important and should not be overlooked. Too often to girls (myself included) rationalize away important things. Or think, "hey that's not THAT big of a deal that he doesn't do (fill in blank)" when in reality, it IS a big deal and it shouldn't go over looked. If it makes you upset that he didn't do something (or did something you dont like) then it's obviously something that shouldn't be brushed off. OR we think to ourselves... he might do that in the future. well ladies... chances are, if he hasn't by now he probably won't. AND he's not going to change. No, you can't change him. I've tried. It doesn't work. If you don't love him with all your heart while you're dating and see stars and hearts and bubbles floating when you think about him, how is it going to be when you get MARRIED?! Dating is the best part of the relationship and if you don't like him then, you certainly won't like him anymore with a ring on your finger.
Instead of being a negative nancy and thinking of only the 5 things I don't want in a man, I decided to flip this and think of the 5 things those past boyfriends DID do that I did like and see what similarities I come up with to figure out what I DO want from a man. After all, I can't find a man and be happy with him and I don't know what I want, right?! Right. So let's get started with this little adventure...
Boyfriend #1:
Calls and Texts were very rare- never talked WITH me
I was not in his top priorities of the day/ he didn't want to be committed to me
He changed how he acted around his friends / his friends influenced him TOO much
My family thought he was sketchy
Discouraged me from going out and being with friends or doing anything on my own (jealous!)
Bought me flowers
Took me on dates
Adventurous
Cooked for me
Willing to compromise
Boyfriend #2:
I was not in his top priorities of the day/ he didn't want to be committed to me
Kinda...boring.
Asshole
Family did NOT like him
Immature
Texted me and called me often
Took me on dates
Not jealous
Catholic and went to church with me every Sunday
Boyfriend#3:
Bad temper
Immature and STUBBORN
Talked TO me instead of WITH me
Would not compromise
He changed how he acted around his friends / his friends influenced him TOO much
Really loved me / had a passion for me
Catholic and had great values
Said all the right things to make me think he was perfect
FUN to be around- easy going
Family loved him and I loved his family
Alright.... not gonna lie. that was rough to write. But it was necessary. So, here we go. THIS is what I'm looking for and if you want to reel me in here ya go:
You can forget about that deceptive and shallow approach because I will see right through that nonsense. Instead, key into my intellect. I think that this is the core to my beauty. Not to be selfish but I actually like getting compliements. It makes me feel like you are noticing me. Dont just say "You're HOTT and I wanna SCREW you!" thats not what I'm talking about... I want genuine compliements that are deeper than that. Communication is KEY here. Invovle me in some deep one-on-one conversation. Get to know ME and ask how my day was. Please do not talk about yourself for 3 hours and not allow me to get a single word in. I do want to know about you too, however, let's try and more back and forth approach. When you ask me about how I am, trust me, I love it and I will always remember it. I have a great memory and some say my hippocampus is too active, so just remember that I will remember your actions. Your actions speak louder than your words and what you are doing and how you are acting will not be outplayed when you say, "you have pretty hair" (you gotta do both. I know you can do it ;-] ) Having you help me with the dishes means more to me than you buying me dinner. Romance is extremely important to me. Light some candles, put on some soft music, dance with me in the kitchen, kiss me sweetly, write me a letter, text me you love me (often), buy me flowers, take me to the park to go on a walk, hold my hand, snuggle with me, wake me up with a kiss, tell me all those lines you think are cheesy because let's face it. i'm a fan! I am loyal, so be faithful back. Give me something to be faithful to!I want to live for the adventure. Each day is a new day and I want to be with someone who has an adventure for LIFE and will do things with me and can keep up with me, but yet wants to have kids and a family with me. I want to be the center of your universe and yet know that we can do our own independent activties knowing we will go home to each other at night. 20 years from now, I still want you to romance the hell out of me and I want to know that I'm still the number one priority in life. Love and marriage are not just feelings. It's a decision we make as adults. You CHOOSE to love someone. (the action of loving them, not the feeling of loving them) You choose to buy flowers and write letters. If you know that someone likes that they WHY WOULD YOU NOT DO IT?! Hello!!!!! Do what you know your lover likes, even if it isn't your favorite thing- that's called LOVE. Time after time I've told my boyfriends "hey I like flowers, or cards, or texts in the morning to say have a great day" did they ever do it? nope. WHY!? I'm handing you the opportunity to put a smile on my face and you chose not to do it because you didn't like it or "it's not your thing". It's called a sacrifice and a compromise. Don't be a douche bag. Be honest. Be faithful. Be in love with me. Make compromises. Smile often. Look at the world adventurously.
My "Love Language" is acts of kindness. I will know you love me through you geniune acts of kindness. Go to the end of the earth for me and I will do the same for you. This isn't what I want... It's what I need.
"I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love"
-Bob Dylan
Someone also once told me that if you want to figure out what qualities you don't want in a man, then you should make up a list of the top 5 things you didn't like about your past boyfriends, find the similarities (there are bound to be some) and create what she called a "black list". If you meet someone that has more than one of these qualities, you probably shouldn't date them and you should tell them to kick rocks. Those things are obviously important and should not be overlooked. Too often to girls (myself included) rationalize away important things. Or think, "hey that's not THAT big of a deal that he doesn't do (fill in blank)" when in reality, it IS a big deal and it shouldn't go over looked. If it makes you upset that he didn't do something (or did something you dont like) then it's obviously something that shouldn't be brushed off. OR we think to ourselves... he might do that in the future. well ladies... chances are, if he hasn't by now he probably won't. AND he's not going to change. No, you can't change him. I've tried. It doesn't work. If you don't love him with all your heart while you're dating and see stars and hearts and bubbles floating when you think about him, how is it going to be when you get MARRIED?! Dating is the best part of the relationship and if you don't like him then, you certainly won't like him anymore with a ring on your finger.
Instead of being a negative nancy and thinking of only the 5 things I don't want in a man, I decided to flip this and think of the 5 things those past boyfriends DID do that I did like and see what similarities I come up with to figure out what I DO want from a man. After all, I can't find a man and be happy with him and I don't know what I want, right?! Right. So let's get started with this little adventure...
Boyfriend #1:
Calls and Texts were very rare- never talked WITH me
I was not in his top priorities of the day/ he didn't want to be committed to me
He changed how he acted around his friends / his friends influenced him TOO much
My family thought he was sketchy
Discouraged me from going out and being with friends or doing anything on my own (jealous!)
Bought me flowers
Took me on dates
Adventurous
Cooked for me
Willing to compromise
Boyfriend #2:
I was not in his top priorities of the day/ he didn't want to be committed to me
Kinda...boring.
Asshole
Family did NOT like him
Immature
Texted me and called me often
Took me on dates
Not jealous
Catholic and went to church with me every Sunday
Boyfriend#3:
Bad temper
Immature and STUBBORN
Talked TO me instead of WITH me
Would not compromise
He changed how he acted around his friends / his friends influenced him TOO much
Really loved me / had a passion for me
Catholic and had great values
Said all the right things to make me think he was perfect
FUN to be around- easy going
Family loved him and I loved his family
Alright.... not gonna lie. that was rough to write. But it was necessary. So, here we go. THIS is what I'm looking for and if you want to reel me in here ya go:
You can forget about that deceptive and shallow approach because I will see right through that nonsense. Instead, key into my intellect. I think that this is the core to my beauty. Not to be selfish but I actually like getting compliements. It makes me feel like you are noticing me. Dont just say "You're HOTT and I wanna SCREW you!" thats not what I'm talking about... I want genuine compliements that are deeper than that. Communication is KEY here. Invovle me in some deep one-on-one conversation. Get to know ME and ask how my day was. Please do not talk about yourself for 3 hours and not allow me to get a single word in. I do want to know about you too, however, let's try and more back and forth approach. When you ask me about how I am, trust me, I love it and I will always remember it. I have a great memory and some say my hippocampus is too active, so just remember that I will remember your actions. Your actions speak louder than your words and what you are doing and how you are acting will not be outplayed when you say, "you have pretty hair" (you gotta do both. I know you can do it ;-] ) Having you help me with the dishes means more to me than you buying me dinner. Romance is extremely important to me. Light some candles, put on some soft music, dance with me in the kitchen, kiss me sweetly, write me a letter, text me you love me (often), buy me flowers, take me to the park to go on a walk, hold my hand, snuggle with me, wake me up with a kiss, tell me all those lines you think are cheesy because let's face it. i'm a fan! I am loyal, so be faithful back. Give me something to be faithful to!I want to live for the adventure. Each day is a new day and I want to be with someone who has an adventure for LIFE and will do things with me and can keep up with me, but yet wants to have kids and a family with me. I want to be the center of your universe and yet know that we can do our own independent activties knowing we will go home to each other at night. 20 years from now, I still want you to romance the hell out of me and I want to know that I'm still the number one priority in life. Love and marriage are not just feelings. It's a decision we make as adults. You CHOOSE to love someone. (the action of loving them, not the feeling of loving them) You choose to buy flowers and write letters. If you know that someone likes that they WHY WOULD YOU NOT DO IT?! Hello!!!!! Do what you know your lover likes, even if it isn't your favorite thing- that's called LOVE. Time after time I've told my boyfriends "hey I like flowers, or cards, or texts in the morning to say have a great day" did they ever do it? nope. WHY!? I'm handing you the opportunity to put a smile on my face and you chose not to do it because you didn't like it or "it's not your thing". It's called a sacrifice and a compromise. Don't be a douche bag. Be honest. Be faithful. Be in love with me. Make compromises. Smile often. Look at the world adventurously.
My "Love Language" is acts of kindness. I will know you love me through you geniune acts of kindness. Go to the end of the earth for me and I will do the same for you. This isn't what I want... It's what I need.
"I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love"
-Bob Dylan
Saturday, November 20, 2010
If You Don't Know...Now Ya Know..
Recently I've been trying to figure out "who I am" and "what kind of person I am" and "what kind of man I am into" etc etc etc... so here is random stream of consciousness about my likes and dislikes that can maybe begin to breach the surface of me:
My name is Katherine Leigh. I am 22 years old. Born in Brandon, Fl on May 24, 1988. My first kiss was Eric Grooters on New Years at the stroke of Midnight in 8th grade (beat that!!). I love to shop. But I hate shopping for jeans, bras and bathing suits. Anyone who thinks those are fun to shop for, please feel free to tell me your secret. The best way for me to relax is to watch mindless / trashy tv, drink wine (or other adult beves) and laugh with friends. When I'm alone, my favorite thing to do is put music on, take a bubble bath, sing terribly and loudly, and walk around the house naked. I've never had a one night stand and don't really intend on it. My favorite hobby is to go out to dinner with my friends / family (if that can be considered a hobby). I'm extremely romantic. Yes, all that mushy gushy crap works on me. No boyfriend of mine has ever been romantic.. this is part of the reason why I'm single. I love kissing. I've slept in the nude many, many times. My favorite midnight snack is frozen pizza (side note: favorite toppings -- bacon and pepperoni and pineapple in any combination) or waffle house (especially after an epic night of drinking). If I could do it again, I'd change a lot of things from college... especially the amount I partied. I'd do it more. I graduated with a 3.74 from college and could have had a little more fun instead of having my nose in the books all the time. I'd also take the time to get to know more people more personally. No one really gives a crap about other people in college and I wish I had. Girls were so mean to be in college. Ive never had anyone treat me as badly as some of the girls i've met over the past few years. When I eat peanut butter and fluff or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I absolutely must have some cheesy doritos to go with. I will never ever give up fried chicken or macaroni and cheese. ever. My favorite drink is Dr. Pepper. If I never saw / smelled any food that comes from the ocean again I'd be perfectly content. My "ideal" date would be to have a ridiculously romantic something or another. I have been in love with 2 people at the same time. I have also dated someone I didn't love for months and never told them I didn't love them.. Id go to the beach any day over the mountains. Except I hate it when sand gets in my butt. You know that happens to you too! If I had a super power I think I'd want to be able to read peoples minds when I wanted to. Not all the time because that's creepy... but just when it's important to know if someone is really telling you the truth. (ex: did you make out with that girl, yes or no?) TOO many people lie to me and quite frankly, I'm over it. Either tell me the truth and I'll deal with it, or don't be my friend. I've been hurt by a lot of people for no apparent reason. If I could do anything I wanted to do, it would be to meet my perfect man... or just know who that perfect man is in my life-- who knows I could have already met him, right? That'd be sweet. The worst thing a boyfriend / guy ever said to me was that "when he meets the perfect girl, he'll know" meaning... I am not that girl. ouch, right?! I don't like large crowds. Let's face it. I'm short and when I'm in the middle of a large crowd, it gets overwhelming not being able to see anything except people's back and stomachs. I'm a people pleaser and I'll go to the end of the earth for you if you simply tell me that it meant a lot for me to do that for you. Seriously, that's all it takes- gratitude. If I could get plastic surgery I would have my double chin sucked out. It's gross and unattractive and no matter how much weight I lose, I will always have one. I used to play the flute and the oboe and the piano. Now, I can't even read music. The sexiest part of a male body to me is the shoulders and back. mmmm. yep. The sexiest part of a female body is the hour glass figure. My biggest fear is losing someone close to me without telling them how much they mean to me or how much I appreciate everything they have done for me. I have 7 ear piercings and used to have my nose pierced. I want a tattoo of the Christian fish on my foot and have wanted it since I was 16. The best advise I ever got was to live in THIS moment. I'm trying to not be as obsessed with my cell phone as I used to be. It's ok if someone has to wait a few more minutes for me to respond to their text message if I'm busy with someone. I try to pretend like I'm good at cooking when all I really know how to do is follow a recipe and throw shit together that I think might taste good. It usually doesn't. I'm scared about growing up. My biggest pet peeve is when people don't follow through on what they say they will do. I love long names. I sincerely want to name my first daughter Charlotte Elizabeth and call her "Charlie". Not being able to have children really scares me. I don't like dogs, except for a very select few. No, I do not want to see pictures of your dog and no I do not want to pet it or have it lay on me or slober on me. k?thanks. I've always wanted to know a foreign language but do not think I have the mental capacity to learn one. I just dont understand that shit. what are you saying to me?!?! I have the. worlds. best. family. I like costume parties but I dont like walking in to the party. I feel like a douche dressed like that. One day I hope to own my own something. anything of real value. I have a real fear of my house burning down and have had multiple dreams about it happening. I don't have patience for people's children in public. Please keep them under control and no, I'm not meaning for you to keep them on a lease with a bear shaped back-pack to disguise it. My least favorite subject in school was math...no english.. no wait it was science.. i mean history... oh yea.. i hated all subjects in school except home-ec. guess I majored in the right thing? I used to be "super Catholic" but I have fallen away from the church. Not intentionally..I can't really describe why or what happened. It just did. I'm trying to get back into it though. I know my life was more together and better with God in my life / mind regularly so I'm making small steps to get it together. I only have 2 secrets that very few people know about me and I probably won't ever tell anyone else unless prompted. My favorite time of year is all year long. I love the winter because of the clothes, I love fall because of the smell and the leaves and the perfect temperature outside. I love the spring because of the flowers and I love summer because of the nostalgia. On my wedding day, I hope to have my father walk me down the aisle to Pachabel's Canon in D. Also, I'd like to have that really cool version of Some Where Over the Rainbow played at some point. Yes, I like that song.. a lot. When I was little I had an imaginary friend named Zoey. She was the bomb.com. My socks almost always never match and yes, I started that trend not on purpose but out of laziness to find two matching ones. I will listen to almost any kind of music, however, never ever ask me who sings it because I don't know. I dont' know anything about sports and I really don't intend on trying to learn. Also, I dont know anything about politics. I have never voted because I dont know enough about what's going on to make a knowledge based decision and I'm not really one for blindly voting for the sake of voting. I don't have that many girlfriends. Not for the lack of trying, but for some reason, I always just get pushed aside. I'm always the "third wheel" in friendships. So, to try and fix that I'm trying a more one-on-one approach or a large group setting. I really want to be asked out on a real date. and soon! I know I'm still not over my ex boyfriend, but yet I know he's not meant to be with me. Not sure if that's normal. Getting dolled up is still one of my favorite things to do. Being a princess is definitely one of my childhood fantasies. I'm a hypochondriac and I always think I have some sort of illness. I'm self conscious of my body hair. Is that weird? yes. oh well. My favorite color is pink and navy blue. My best summer is tied. One was my two weeks in Costa Rica studying abroad. The other: spending the entire summer at our family's cabin with just my siblings and close family friends doing nothing for weeks. Compromising is one of my biggest relationship needs. If you can't compromise with me on stuff, then...well... we've got some issues. It's called give and take, people! I've give up every dollar I ever make to have a life of pure happiness. I don't like confrontation and getting yelled at makes me cry. every time. Going to the dentist isn't scary when you take care of your teeth. Going to the gynecologist is one of the most humiliating experiences. (guys... please, get over the one touch ball turn and cough... it's nothing comparatively speaking) I think I will really enjoy being pregnant and i'm looking forward to the day when I can celebrate a pregnancy. I love animal print clothes, shoes, and jewelry. The most I've ever won from the lottery was $50 (unlike my brother). Life motto: remember, things can always always get worse. so be grateful for what you have when you have it.
Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should. Let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard. Enjoy moments. Forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything. Have no regrets. Life is too short to be anything but HAPPY.
My name is Katherine Leigh. I am 22 years old. Born in Brandon, Fl on May 24, 1988. My first kiss was Eric Grooters on New Years at the stroke of Midnight in 8th grade (beat that!!). I love to shop. But I hate shopping for jeans, bras and bathing suits. Anyone who thinks those are fun to shop for, please feel free to tell me your secret. The best way for me to relax is to watch mindless / trashy tv, drink wine (or other adult beves) and laugh with friends. When I'm alone, my favorite thing to do is put music on, take a bubble bath, sing terribly and loudly, and walk around the house naked. I've never had a one night stand and don't really intend on it. My favorite hobby is to go out to dinner with my friends / family (if that can be considered a hobby). I'm extremely romantic. Yes, all that mushy gushy crap works on me. No boyfriend of mine has ever been romantic.. this is part of the reason why I'm single. I love kissing. I've slept in the nude many, many times. My favorite midnight snack is frozen pizza (side note: favorite toppings -- bacon and pepperoni and pineapple in any combination) or waffle house (especially after an epic night of drinking). If I could do it again, I'd change a lot of things from college... especially the amount I partied. I'd do it more. I graduated with a 3.74 from college and could have had a little more fun instead of having my nose in the books all the time. I'd also take the time to get to know more people more personally. No one really gives a crap about other people in college and I wish I had. Girls were so mean to be in college. Ive never had anyone treat me as badly as some of the girls i've met over the past few years. When I eat peanut butter and fluff or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I absolutely must have some cheesy doritos to go with. I will never ever give up fried chicken or macaroni and cheese. ever. My favorite drink is Dr. Pepper. If I never saw / smelled any food that comes from the ocean again I'd be perfectly content. My "ideal" date would be to have a ridiculously romantic something or another. I have been in love with 2 people at the same time. I have also dated someone I didn't love for months and never told them I didn't love them.. Id go to the beach any day over the mountains. Except I hate it when sand gets in my butt. You know that happens to you too! If I had a super power I think I'd want to be able to read peoples minds when I wanted to. Not all the time because that's creepy... but just when it's important to know if someone is really telling you the truth. (ex: did you make out with that girl, yes or no?) TOO many people lie to me and quite frankly, I'm over it. Either tell me the truth and I'll deal with it, or don't be my friend. I've been hurt by a lot of people for no apparent reason. If I could do anything I wanted to do, it would be to meet my perfect man... or just know who that perfect man is in my life-- who knows I could have already met him, right? That'd be sweet. The worst thing a boyfriend / guy ever said to me was that "when he meets the perfect girl, he'll know" meaning... I am not that girl. ouch, right?! I don't like large crowds. Let's face it. I'm short and when I'm in the middle of a large crowd, it gets overwhelming not being able to see anything except people's back and stomachs. I'm a people pleaser and I'll go to the end of the earth for you if you simply tell me that it meant a lot for me to do that for you. Seriously, that's all it takes- gratitude. If I could get plastic surgery I would have my double chin sucked out. It's gross and unattractive and no matter how much weight I lose, I will always have one. I used to play the flute and the oboe and the piano. Now, I can't even read music. The sexiest part of a male body to me is the shoulders and back. mmmm. yep. The sexiest part of a female body is the hour glass figure. My biggest fear is losing someone close to me without telling them how much they mean to me or how much I appreciate everything they have done for me. I have 7 ear piercings and used to have my nose pierced. I want a tattoo of the Christian fish on my foot and have wanted it since I was 16. The best advise I ever got was to live in THIS moment. I'm trying to not be as obsessed with my cell phone as I used to be. It's ok if someone has to wait a few more minutes for me to respond to their text message if I'm busy with someone. I try to pretend like I'm good at cooking when all I really know how to do is follow a recipe and throw shit together that I think might taste good. It usually doesn't. I'm scared about growing up. My biggest pet peeve is when people don't follow through on what they say they will do. I love long names. I sincerely want to name my first daughter Charlotte Elizabeth and call her "Charlie". Not being able to have children really scares me. I don't like dogs, except for a very select few. No, I do not want to see pictures of your dog and no I do not want to pet it or have it lay on me or slober on me. k?thanks. I've always wanted to know a foreign language but do not think I have the mental capacity to learn one. I just dont understand that shit. what are you saying to me?!?! I have the. worlds. best. family. I like costume parties but I dont like walking in to the party. I feel like a douche dressed like that. One day I hope to own my own something. anything of real value. I have a real fear of my house burning down and have had multiple dreams about it happening. I don't have patience for people's children in public. Please keep them under control and no, I'm not meaning for you to keep them on a lease with a bear shaped back-pack to disguise it. My least favorite subject in school was math...no english.. no wait it was science.. i mean history... oh yea.. i hated all subjects in school except home-ec. guess I majored in the right thing? I used to be "super Catholic" but I have fallen away from the church. Not intentionally..I can't really describe why or what happened. It just did. I'm trying to get back into it though. I know my life was more together and better with God in my life / mind regularly so I'm making small steps to get it together. I only have 2 secrets that very few people know about me and I probably won't ever tell anyone else unless prompted. My favorite time of year is all year long. I love the winter because of the clothes, I love fall because of the smell and the leaves and the perfect temperature outside. I love the spring because of the flowers and I love summer because of the nostalgia. On my wedding day, I hope to have my father walk me down the aisle to Pachabel's Canon in D. Also, I'd like to have that really cool version of Some Where Over the Rainbow played at some point. Yes, I like that song.. a lot. When I was little I had an imaginary friend named Zoey. She was the bomb.com. My socks almost always never match and yes, I started that trend not on purpose but out of laziness to find two matching ones. I will listen to almost any kind of music, however, never ever ask me who sings it because I don't know. I dont' know anything about sports and I really don't intend on trying to learn. Also, I dont know anything about politics. I have never voted because I dont know enough about what's going on to make a knowledge based decision and I'm not really one for blindly voting for the sake of voting. I don't have that many girlfriends. Not for the lack of trying, but for some reason, I always just get pushed aside. I'm always the "third wheel" in friendships. So, to try and fix that I'm trying a more one-on-one approach or a large group setting. I really want to be asked out on a real date. and soon! I know I'm still not over my ex boyfriend, but yet I know he's not meant to be with me. Not sure if that's normal. Getting dolled up is still one of my favorite things to do. Being a princess is definitely one of my childhood fantasies. I'm a hypochondriac and I always think I have some sort of illness. I'm self conscious of my body hair. Is that weird? yes. oh well. My favorite color is pink and navy blue. My best summer is tied. One was my two weeks in Costa Rica studying abroad. The other: spending the entire summer at our family's cabin with just my siblings and close family friends doing nothing for weeks. Compromising is one of my biggest relationship needs. If you can't compromise with me on stuff, then...well... we've got some issues. It's called give and take, people! I've give up every dollar I ever make to have a life of pure happiness. I don't like confrontation and getting yelled at makes me cry. every time. Going to the dentist isn't scary when you take care of your teeth. Going to the gynecologist is one of the most humiliating experiences. (guys... please, get over the one touch ball turn and cough... it's nothing comparatively speaking) I think I will really enjoy being pregnant and i'm looking forward to the day when I can celebrate a pregnancy. I love animal print clothes, shoes, and jewelry. The most I've ever won from the lottery was $50 (unlike my brother). Life motto: remember, things can always always get worse. so be grateful for what you have when you have it.
Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should. Let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard. Enjoy moments. Forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything. Have no regrets. Life is too short to be anything but HAPPY.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Girls Gotta Do What A Girls Gotta Do...
Each day, I try to strive to complete a small goal that will better myself over all. It could be something as small as chosing to eat a banana instead of doritos and acutally hanging up my towels after I get out of the shower instead of the usual ball they wind up in in the corner of the bathroom. The goal here, is that each of the tiny steps over time will eventually turn into routine which will turn into habits (and good ones at that!)
Over the past week, I have made a number of conscious decisions that I am determined to stick to. So here's the update on how my short term goals (which will ultimately impact my long term goals) are going:
1) My BFFL Marybeth and I have recently realized that we have a Sunday routine... Each Sunday we get together in the evening, go to Roaster's (yes, we order the same thing every week with a slight atltercation to adhere to whatever our hormones and tastebuds are craving), then we go to one of our houses and have the usual swap sesh. We exchange clothes because let's be honest...closets always look more appealing when they aren't your own! Just like refigerators! Then, we paint our nails a new trendy color. Yes. this happens every Sunday and I LOVE it! It also helps me adhere to my first goal of keeping up with my fabulous daily dress code :) Also, I have purchased all new make-up and hair products ($120 later...) because let's be honest... quality hair products and quality make-up make all the difference when looking like a superstar. Don't worry, I put it in the budget!
2) I recently purchased QUICKEN (a budgeter application) for my computer and have come up with a very specific budget to keep my beans under control! Ps. how can they REALLY charge me $50 for a budgeting application......... come on now! I'm on a budget!
3) After much time spent together, Calliebaker and I have become great friends. She's wonderful and I enjoy her company very much, not to mention she makes me almost pee my pants in every other sentence that comes out of her mouth. She also enjoys cooking and comfort foods (especially Mexican Fridays!) just as much as I do. ALSO, she loves animal print accessories (amen). Friendship = BLISS. ALSO, I want to keep meeting people and making new friendships. I have plans to go see Cirque De Soliel with one of my sister's/bro-in-law's friends (Sam!) in two weeks and I'm not only excited about the show but excited about spending time with someone new!! (More to come on that later)
4) I have started reading Captivating. I'm only on page 20 and I already want to tell every guy I've ever dated to 'shove it' where the sun don't shine. I can already tell it's going to be a tear-jerker and a true "self help" book. I think it's the kick-in-the-ass I've been needing to get over myself and expect someone GREAT and not just settle for anyone who thinks I'm pretty...
"Cause I’ve been hidin’
All my life and
I’ve been tryin
To keep me safe but
I’ve been healin
I’ve been thinkin
I am ready
Finally for something more
Than this"
--Keri Nobles
5) My car still isn't clean. nope. not even close.
6) I have decided that I absolutely MUST join a gym. Even if it's the tiny rinkydink gym down the street, I know that if I am paying for a membership, I will be much more motivated to work out. Plus, this gives me the opportunity to workout at night in the dark, whereas my runs /walks are usually outside and now that the time has changed it gets dark at like.....3:30PM. SO, a gym is necessary...and I WILL budget for this so as to help complete my goal of exercising at least 3-5 days a week to train for the Princess Run in Feb AND not to mention help me lose those 10 lbs I'm striving to lose by 12/25/2010.
7) Yesterday (Sunday) I went to Mass by myself. Some of you might think, "...and?" but.. considering I can count the number of times I've gone to Mass on two hands in the past year... I think this is faannnttasssticcc. I think that it is important for me to get myself together and my personal relationship with God back on track before talking to the youth minister about becoming a Core Member. How am I supposed to lead high schoolers in the path of God if I can't even keep myself on that path? So, Mass = Step ONE to doing just that.
8) I have consciously cut back on my sodas. This week... I had 4. Not bad considering I had one each weekday and multiple on the weekend! Getting to 2 a week should be easy after this major cut back. But why do they have to taste soooo good???
So, obvi I have more work to do...but you know...a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do...and this...I've gotta do for no one else...but ME.
Over the past week, I have made a number of conscious decisions that I am determined to stick to. So here's the update on how my short term goals (which will ultimately impact my long term goals) are going:
1) My BFFL Marybeth and I have recently realized that we have a Sunday routine... Each Sunday we get together in the evening, go to Roaster's (yes, we order the same thing every week with a slight atltercation to adhere to whatever our hormones and tastebuds are craving), then we go to one of our houses and have the usual swap sesh. We exchange clothes because let's be honest...closets always look more appealing when they aren't your own! Just like refigerators! Then, we paint our nails a new trendy color. Yes. this happens every Sunday and I LOVE it! It also helps me adhere to my first goal of keeping up with my fabulous daily dress code :) Also, I have purchased all new make-up and hair products ($120 later...) because let's be honest... quality hair products and quality make-up make all the difference when looking like a superstar. Don't worry, I put it in the budget!
2) I recently purchased QUICKEN (a budgeter application) for my computer and have come up with a very specific budget to keep my beans under control! Ps. how can they REALLY charge me $50 for a budgeting application......... come on now! I'm on a budget!
3) After much time spent together, Calliebaker and I have become great friends. She's wonderful and I enjoy her company very much, not to mention she makes me almost pee my pants in every other sentence that comes out of her mouth. She also enjoys cooking and comfort foods (especially Mexican Fridays!) just as much as I do. ALSO, she loves animal print accessories (amen). Friendship = BLISS. ALSO, I want to keep meeting people and making new friendships. I have plans to go see Cirque De Soliel with one of my sister's/bro-in-law's friends (Sam!) in two weeks and I'm not only excited about the show but excited about spending time with someone new!! (More to come on that later)
4) I have started reading Captivating. I'm only on page 20 and I already want to tell every guy I've ever dated to 'shove it' where the sun don't shine. I can already tell it's going to be a tear-jerker and a true "self help" book. I think it's the kick-in-the-ass I've been needing to get over myself and expect someone GREAT and not just settle for anyone who thinks I'm pretty...
"Cause I’ve been hidin’
All my life and
I’ve been tryin
To keep me safe but
I’ve been healin
I’ve been thinkin
I am ready
Finally for something more
Than this"
--Keri Nobles
5) My car still isn't clean. nope. not even close.
6) I have decided that I absolutely MUST join a gym. Even if it's the tiny rinkydink gym down the street, I know that if I am paying for a membership, I will be much more motivated to work out. Plus, this gives me the opportunity to workout at night in the dark, whereas my runs /walks are usually outside and now that the time has changed it gets dark at like.....3:30PM. SO, a gym is necessary...and I WILL budget for this so as to help complete my goal of exercising at least 3-5 days a week to train for the Princess Run in Feb AND not to mention help me lose those 10 lbs I'm striving to lose by 12/25/2010.
7) Yesterday (Sunday) I went to Mass by myself. Some of you might think, "...and?" but.. considering I can count the number of times I've gone to Mass on two hands in the past year... I think this is faannnttasssticcc. I think that it is important for me to get myself together and my personal relationship with God back on track before talking to the youth minister about becoming a Core Member. How am I supposed to lead high schoolers in the path of God if I can't even keep myself on that path? So, Mass = Step ONE to doing just that.
8) I have consciously cut back on my sodas. This week... I had 4. Not bad considering I had one each weekday and multiple on the weekend! Getting to 2 a week should be easy after this major cut back. But why do they have to taste soooo good???
So, obvi I have more work to do...but you know...a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do...and this...I've gotta do for no one else...but ME.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Put On Your Big Girl Panties and DEAL with IT
So, here I am, a fresh Georgia Southern 2010 graduate, thinking I'm hott stuff, then I realize I'm living the unmarried life at home with my parents in Alpharetta with no clue as to how to be an adult in this chaotic world we live in. In desperate attempt to make sense of this life in between college and marriage, this blog (with consto abreeves- yep. get used to it. )is going to be my documentation of my confessions, realizations, goals, feelings (however crazy) and growth of my single, unmarried, and fabulous twenty-something life with my family, friends and you (if you are up for it!) along for the ride. This is my solemn vow to grow as much as possible over the next (insert length of time) and to somehow learn about how to be a sophisticated, Alpharetta grown woman, and more importantly learn about MYSELF. All along this journey I vow to also become healthier, wealthier, and wiser.
Anyone who is older than me knows exactly what I’m going to be talking about and anyone younger than me…well..just get ready for this, it will happen to you one day. Graduating college is one of the hardest / most AWESOME things a person ever has to do. We go from living the life of beer, boys, late night studying, sleeping in late, occasionally going to class, and unlimited pizza and parties with easy access to thousands of people in our age group and same demographics, yet we all take this for granted. That easy- going, care-free lifestyle is something so precious and a true once-in-a-lifetime adventure, we all wish we could stay in that blissful state forever. Some people utilize those resources while ‘living the life’ to their full advantage and are able find their soul-mate and peace out of there with a full-time dream job (I applaud you if that was you). However, not all of us were that lucky. SOME of us graduate with no job, no money, a zillion student loans, no husband, no ring, no boyfriend, a piece of paper that basically says “thumbs up!” and a scared shitless look on our faces. Luckily, I have the world’s greatest parents and they let me move in with them and help me out until I can get myself together (Thanks Tom & Kelly!).
Now, you might be saying, “wow that doesn’t sound so great….”, but let me tell you…. Over the past 6 months that I have been living this in-between-life, I have already begun that transformation into adult-hood (kind of….?). My life is not ‘college!!!!’ anymore. I have bills to pay, I have a mouth to feed, I have a job to go to (THANKFULLY!) for 40 hours a week. Growing up is hard, but there are so many fabulous shoes along the way. I have been enjoying taking on more responsibilities to fend for myself (even though it’s a kick in the butt!!) and let’s be honest, I’m really over the whole ‘going out in public dressed in sweat pants, no make-up, and a sloppy tshirt’ look. Every morning I get up and put on my best outfit for the day and rock it! Wearing high heels just makes me feel important sometimes. Having my nails freshly painted weekly is a necessity to my twenty- something fabulousness. I’m young. I’m ready. I’m confused. I’m single. I’m going to need to lean on my family and friends …a lot. As much chaos and confusion there is in this world, I’m going to try and make sense of it, accomplishing one short-term goal at a time while improving myself little by little. Each goal is set for a specific reason and with the intentional outcome to better myself overall and complete this really difficult puzzle we call LIFE.
Short term goals include:
Keeping up my fabulous daily dress code
Getting on a strict(er) budget
Getting on a strict(er) budget
Make new friends
read a good book
clean my car
start training for the half marathon 3-5 days a week
Get invovled with LifeTeen as a Core member
Cut back on the number of sodas consumed in a week to less than 2
start training for the half marathon 3-5 days a week
Get invovled with LifeTeen as a Core member
Cut back on the number of sodas consumed in a week to less than 2
Long term goals include:
Meet a fabulous man who will treat me like his queen
Get my own apartment
Stick to said budget
Pay off my car
Pay off my student loans
Keep said new friends
FINISH said half marathon (Feb 2011- Disney Princess Run)
Lose 10 lbs by Dec 25, 2010
FINISH said half marathon (Feb 2011- Disney Princess Run)
Lose 10 lbs by Dec 25, 2010
Obvi, I have some work to do on my life. Raise your glass with me as we toast to being fearless, making mistakes, taking chances and growing up! Cheers!
“Being twenty-something is all about taking it in: eating it, drinking it, and spitting out the seeds later. It's about being fearless, and stupid, and dangerous, and unfocused, and abandoned. It's about being in it, not on top of it" --- Jodie Foster, Yale University, 1993
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